no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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