HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
