so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
