Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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