ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
