I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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