his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
