she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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