I have demons in me.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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