I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
