You made me cry and you don't even care
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
