I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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