so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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