i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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