Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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