well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
