He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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