Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
