I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
