I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
