we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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