Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he puts the penis in happiness.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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