He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
