yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
