so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
