come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
