I hate all girls vehemently.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
