I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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