i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
