Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
