I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
