Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
