we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sponge bath it is.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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