Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
