You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
