she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
