I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
