I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
