I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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