is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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