i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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