she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize