We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
