we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
