the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
