Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
