I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
