i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
too bad you live with your parents still
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
