Your mouth is God's brothel.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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