I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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