She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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